The first Decult conference was a supportive space where difficult lived experiences could be shared, often for the first time – from presentations to panels and in the incredibly moving Survivor Story Jam. For many, the event turned out to be a life-changing catalyst: Attendees went on to take empowering steps. Podcasts, book projects, social media videos and legal action followed.
A tangible outcome of Decult 2024 was the launch of the first in-person peer support group for former cult members in Ōtautahi Christchurch. They meet twice a month, supported by a counsellor with a lived experience. All participants are vetted, and new members are welcome. Find out more how to join Uncult Ōtautahi.
A similar group has started in Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland at Rationalist House, facilitated by a trained cult therapist. If you’d like to go on their waiting list, email [email protected]
If you’re interested in setting up a peer support group in your own town, then please get in touch and we can connect and support you.
There are still too many misconceptions about people in cults. 90 percent of them leave at some point, most with lasting trauma and mental or physical problems. Research shows the significant harm done to those who were born or raised within oppressive systems. The risk for addiction, unemployment and suicide is huge for so-called SGA (second-generation adults) and MGA (multi-generation adults).
Kids in cults are the ones who are the most invisible and may never recover. They need frontline services and government agencies to listen, understand and upskill in cult education so that what happened at Centrepoint and Gloriavale never happens again.
We are grateful for all the brave survivors of coercive control who are actively contributing to more cult knowledge by speaking up – while we want to avoid sensationalism, shock value and voyeurism. Please read the RNZ essay “Changing the C-word” for more context about our media approach.
Cult leavers are our heroes. Here are some of their stories.
“I’m Judy. I was born into an evangelical group founded in South Africa, where a strict fundamentalist doctrine shaped every aspect of my childhood. Growing up, I experienced severe physical, spiritual, and emotional abuse. Purity culture, coercive control, and deeply rooted misogyny restricted my personal freedom, my education, and even my sense of self.
Leaving at age 20 was a long, painful process. When I walked away, I lost everything I had ever known – my family, friends, and entire social world. Stepping into a reality I had been taught to fear was overwhelming and isolating. It took many years to recognise that I had been raised in a cult and socialised in a way completely different from the outside world. No wonder I felt like an outsider in what others considered ‘normal’ life.
Understanding the impact of my upbringing has been key to healing and rebuilding my life. I often wish I had had access to trained therapists and clear public information at the time, it would have made an enormous difference.
I work for Decult because I want former cult members to have the help, understanding and resources that I once desperately needed.”
Judy Wnendt
“I’m Theo from Auckland and was born and raised in Gloriavale. I left overnight when I was 18, without money and nowhere to go apart from a distant friend, knowing I would never see my family again. My understanding of the outside world was that it was evil, which made it difficult when new people tried to help me. Those years were extremely unsettling and lonely because I didn’t know how to fit in. The counselling I finally sought was confusing too. I wanted to get help for myself, but the therapist was more curious about where I was from than in me as a person. I wonder how little they really knew about cults because the public image of Gloriavale was a misrepresentation back then. It made me feel even more alienated. This is why I know how important it is that New Zealand gets a more realistic picture of what leavers from organisations like Gloriavale need.”
Theophila Pratt
“In 1999, influenced by my father, I began practising Falun Gong. Initially, the meditation offered me peace and a sense of purpose. However, over time, I started noticing unsettling inconsistencies that fuelled my growing disillusionment. Working for their newspaper further exposed the stark divide between the group’s teachings and their actions. I was troubled by the rigid demand for conformity, the pervasive homophobia and racism, and their reliance on conspiracy theories. The breaking point arrived when the psychological control and extreme rhetoric became impossible to justify. The trauma from those years caused serious health problems, which went untreated for too long because the group’s doctrines discouraged me from seeking proper medical help. Despite this, I maintain compassion for those still involved. My story, which I will share at the Decult conference, highlights the complexities of surviving a high-demand group. Disclosing this history is vital to my ongoing healing, and I hope it empowers others to do the same.”
Jaya Mangalam Gibson
“I’m Sass from Lyttelton. I spent 12 years in the Christchurch Sri Chinmoy Centre from when I was 15 and worked at their restaurant, underpaid. I was burnt out from the relentless pressure to conform. It took me three years to exit. When I re- entered the “normal” world, I was 27 and had never had a proper boyfriend or any idea about contemporary culture. My mum had to buy me clothes because I was broke and had no idea what to wear, as I mostly wore Saris. I was such a weirdo, desperately trying to seal the cracks. But no-one really understood my transition. It was even worse for my best friend who left with me. I want this to stop. Let’s unshroud the shame and stigma and unveil how cults work. Too many Kiwis suffer in them.”
Sarah Mettrick
“I’m Lynnaire, born and raised in Ōtautahi. In the 2010s I was heavily involved in the new-age spirituality scene. At the time I was also dealing with severe depression and PTSD. After following many influencers via social media, I stumbled across the controversial teachings of Teal Swan on YouTube, specifically through a video about hopelessness. Unfortunately, I also came across her teachings about suicide as well – potentially dangerous rhetoric that pressures vulnerable people into making fateful decisions about their mental health – and their lives. It nearly ended in tragedy for me and the people who wanted me to stay alive.
I’m speaking out because anyone who profits off the trauma and suffering of others is dangerous. Cults and high-demand organisations no longer have to rely on attracting people to ashrams, talks or yoga retreats – they can now also exist online and draw people in through algorithm, as happened to me. Part of my healing process is by telling my story and letting other survivors know that they are not alone, that they can heal, and that life can and will get better on the other side.”
Lynnaire MacDonald
Spiritual abuse occurs when religious or spiritual beliefs are manipulated to control, frighten or harm someone. It can silence questioning, enforce submission and exploit faith for power. Survivors often face deep emotional and psychological scars.
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